Thank you letter from the great Thomas B

Thank you letter from the great Thomas B

Today was one of those days – a stepping out of the comfort zone day.  A do stuff for myself day.

My comfort zone is all about giving gifts – either giving my thoughts or time or  money to others.  I was so touched by this thank you from my friend’s son for a package that I sent to his family in the mail, and equally moved by his mom’s card as well:  Real Paper, Real Scribble,Real thanks.

Change is in the air again, and I felt it.  My pup was acting more rambunctious as usual.  I had a very eye-opening discussion about selling my condo.  There is a real possibility of a short sale, and since I am a short person I guess it is fitting…

Then an earthquake.

But there is more than a short sale going on here, it is my cleansing; getting rid of the part of myself that is too generous to others.  I often spread myself thinly on my own bagel, and give the heaping gobs of goodness to the others of my life.  But I’m simply not into self-preservation here, it is self-redemption.  Getting myself stronger and secure so I can get back to helping others without the total self-sacrifice.   The past few years was part of that strengthening process: 2007 was the year of being a volunteer, since the writer’s strike left me income-less, my job became volunteering.  I knew what it was like to really retire, not the kind of retirement where you sail around the world in your yacht living off the interest of your investments.  No, this kind is the living on Social Security kind which lots of us probably won’t get to experience.  It was in 2007 that I started to train for a Marathon.  2008 I completed my first Marathon, and it was the hardest physical thing I’ve ever done.  2009 is about getting my finances in order (horrible timing!) but is also about accomplishing the hardest mental thing I will ever do:  to let go of everyone else and really take care of myself.   Admitting that I’m a writer and exposing people to my true passion.  To live a life without suppression or subjugation.  The thank you from Thomas showed me that I love to excite the minds of children.

And another admission – Last year I did my first book signing, and my first book was SELF-published.  I hadn’t discovered SCBWI or knew the process of getting legitimately published yet, I just want to dive in head-first and do it for myself.  There are self-published wild success stories, and mine is not of them, but I think it served a greater purpose.  I donated a lot of books, and just wanted them in the library to touch the hearts or funny bones of kids.  Yesterday, a friend that I gave the book to for Christmas said his 4-year old absolutely loved it.  That made me feel so great, that’s why I’m spending my non-existent money and time on this children’s lit thing, although my favorite author is the “grown-up” Albert Camus.  Maybe I’ll still be a “stranger” to being legitimately published, but here’s a review of my self-published book that leads me to believe that I’m being pointed in the right literary direction: